Tinker Bell had her first visit with her mom and dad today since coming to stay with us. The Case aid said it was a good visit, but obviously Tinker is confused by the enitre situation. Let's see, she lived with mom and dad, was in the hospital for a few weeks, went home with a stranger (first foster mom), lived with her for a month, moved to our house, hadn't seen mom and dad for almost 3 weeks, two hour visit today and then back to our house. It's confusing to me and I understand the what's and why's of it all, I just can't imagine what is going through her little developing mind.
She fell asleep briefly on the way home from her visit, I would guess it was no more than a 10-15 minute nap at the most, but that was all it took, she wasn't having anything to do with a nap when she got home. We tried, she tried but it just wasn't happening. She's was literally throwing herself around in the playpen, not having a fit, but laughing hysterically and appearing to be having a good time. I'm suspecting that it was some sort of coping mechanism and some way to deal with her emotions that she doesn't understand, as she had never done it before. After about a half hour of that, I decided she had some pent up energy that needed to be released and gave up on the idea of getting her down for a nap today, so I let her out to play. She was a little grumpy the rest of the day, probably partially due to missing her regular nap and partially due to what must have been a very difficult day having to say goodbye to mommy and daddy again after not seeing them at all for so long.
I decided to feed her an early dinner rather than waiting for ours to be done, just incase she didn't make it awake that long. That was a good call, she finished the last bite of her dinner and her eyes were closing as she was still chewing in the high chair. I woke her up just enough to finish swallowing, get a quick cleanup and it was off to bed. She slept sound for about an hour and a half, and then she woke up crying, I tried to comfort her but she didn't want anything to do with me. Lynsey tried too and she pushed her away as well. I'm quite certain she was dreaming about or reconcilling the days events as well as she could. Its really sad when these foster kids rage out after visits, especially when they are not verbal enough that you can discuss how they are feeling and why they are feeling that way. Its not that they don't want to see their parents, its usually quite the opposite, it doesn't matter if they have been abused or neglected, they still love their parents, its all they knew before foster care, they are angry and don't understand why they can't be with them. Eventually Tinker took the singing Barney from Lynsey and drifted back to sleep.
Hubby is going to have his hands full tomorrow, I have to go into the office and I bet she'll be up before sunrise going to bed as early as she did.
Well, we finally got a placement agreement today, which really only means that she can get WIC now (all foster kids of the right age qualify, you just have to have the paper to prove they are fosters) and that we have something that officially states that we did not kidnap this little girl incase we have some nosey neighbors wondering where she came from.
Monday, August 30, 2010
Thursday, August 26, 2010
Tired......
I'm really tired tonight and feel worked over by that sweet little girl. Let's see, she managed to empty the bottom shelf on the built in bookcase behind my desk, handing me each item one by one despite being told "no no, leave it alone". So I started telling her what it was she was handing me, figuring it was better to put it on my desk than have her destroy it. After a few minutes everything she hands me she says in her broken speech "Girl Scouts, Girl Scouts" as most of what she was handing me was Girl Scout supplies and paperwork. She's a little booger, later the guys brought the mail in and laid it on the end table as usual and she snatched up the mortgage bill and ran from me laughing hysterically as I tried to get it from her before she tore it up. I'll admit, I gave her a baby timeout for a few minutes when she moved to the second shelf trying to clear it, I put her in the pack-n-play for about 15 minutes and gave her a few toys in there to redirect her. My desk is so over piled now I can't find a thing. In fact I have a dues payment check from a Girl Scout parent that is buried somewhere here, I need to find that soon.....
I realized something today....... When my daughter now 8 was her age, she was a much more cautious child, being keenly aware of wether I approved of her actions or not. We had this eye contact communication that just doesn't exist with a child that just came into your care at 19 months old. I remember when she was that age, she was such an easy baby, before she did anything she'd look at me and read my face and know instinctively if she should proceed or not. Obviously I can't expect this with a child I just met, but I wonder if she has or ever had it with her birth mother. She looked at me a few times today like she was looking for that approval or scorning, and went about doing something that wasn't what I preferred, like smacking the puppy. Was she reading me??? Does she care if she pleases me??? Does she think the only way to get attention is to read me and then do the opposite??? Its all very interesting getting to know her and trying to figure her out as I'm sure she is doing with us. But she is a sweet-heart despite it all and has a beautiful smile, is full of laughter and gives the best baby hugs..................
I realized something today....... When my daughter now 8 was her age, she was a much more cautious child, being keenly aware of wether I approved of her actions or not. We had this eye contact communication that just doesn't exist with a child that just came into your care at 19 months old. I remember when she was that age, she was such an easy baby, before she did anything she'd look at me and read my face and know instinctively if she should proceed or not. Obviously I can't expect this with a child I just met, but I wonder if she has or ever had it with her birth mother. She looked at me a few times today like she was looking for that approval or scorning, and went about doing something that wasn't what I preferred, like smacking the puppy. Was she reading me??? Does she care if she pleases me??? Does she think the only way to get attention is to read me and then do the opposite??? Its all very interesting getting to know her and trying to figure her out as I'm sure she is doing with us. But she is a sweet-heart despite it all and has a beautiful smile, is full of laughter and gives the best baby hugs..................
Two weeks today
Its been two weeks today since Tinker Bell moved in and she has really adjusted well. This toddler craves routine and consistency and as long as you keep with that she is a happy camper. She has two little "chores" that she likes to do each day. First one is after she is done eating she likes to push her high chair back against the wall where it goes while I'm washing the tray, the second is every night when I get her dressed for bed she takes the clothes we've just taken off and puts then in the clothes hamper in the laundry room. I made the mistake of giving her the clean clothes to carry this morning and before I knew it, she was headed to the laundry room to put them in the hamper.
We still don't have a placement agreement, but did finally talk to her caseworker this morning and from what I understand its all prepared on their end and will be coming with whoever next comes out to our house, probably the Teaching Parent since she will be picking Tinker up for a visit with her parents on Monday. Yes, thankfully they showed back up and must be making some progress on their case in order to reinstitute the visits. As much as we love this little booger already, we know its always best for everyone involved when a family can resolve their crisis and safely reunite and we are wishing them all the best.
We still don't have a placement agreement, but did finally talk to her caseworker this morning and from what I understand its all prepared on their end and will be coming with whoever next comes out to our house, probably the Teaching Parent since she will be picking Tinker up for a visit with her parents on Monday. Yes, thankfully they showed back up and must be making some progress on their case in order to reinstitute the visits. As much as we love this little booger already, we know its always best for everyone involved when a family can resolve their crisis and safely reunite and we are wishing them all the best.
Sunday, August 22, 2010
Honeymoon Over????
If its possible for a 19 month old to have a "honeymoon" period, it ended this weekend. Tinker Bell is a very determined and strong willed little girl. Its her way or the highway. Where at first she would pretty much go along with things, she now has her own schedule and her own agenda. She looks out the back window and sees the swing, she will have a fit until someone takes her out back to swing. If she decides whe wants to go swimming, she will harrass you with her swim floatie until you take her swimming. If she wants a snack, she will bang on the pantry door until you pull out exactly what she wants even if you have already given her a snack just a few minutes ago.
I'm glad she's feeling comfortable enough with us to share her opinion, but it will be nice when her vocabulary catches up with her intellectual development so she doesn't have to fuss to get her point across. She's a really smart baby, but we think that her speech is a little delayed. It may be and most likely is enviromentally related, as she's sharp as can be as far as understanding and imitating things. Everything we do, touch or see we are being very particular about saying the word to her and trying to get a response. She tries really hard but still has a way to go. Even our cats are "dogs" lol. Lynsey had some M&M's today and I took one and broke it into 4 small pieces and let her try it, she LOVED it and wanted more and more. So we tried getting her to say M&M, the most we could get was an "M", which was enough to earn her another one. I think she got 5 in total.
Later after we had come in from playing and I had sat down to the computer, she's running back and forth from me and Hubby. As she runs to me I say "Hola" (I've always tried to expose my kids to cultural and linguistic differences even though hubby and I are both caucasian English speakers) and she says back in a perfectly clear voice "Hola". Who'd have thought that this little blonde hair blue eyed baby could speak perfectly clear Spanish???? LOL~~~ I don't really think there was anything to it except it was an easy and fun word to repeat (the reason I was saying it to her).
Well, my vacation ends tonight, back to work for the first time since Tinker Bell arrived in the morning. If you didn't already know, I telecommute 4 days per week, so it will be interesting to see how she adjusts to me working and "Pop" taking care of her. Of course the kids still have a few weeks before school starts so they will be here as well. Lynsey was 25 months old when I first started working from home and she learned quickly that "mommy has to work" means relying on Pop to meet the needs and that she couldn't come running back into my work area even though I'm visible from the across the house. Tinker Bell is a little more stubborn and strong willed then my first and only previous baby girl, so we'll see how it goes this week.
I'm glad she's feeling comfortable enough with us to share her opinion, but it will be nice when her vocabulary catches up with her intellectual development so she doesn't have to fuss to get her point across. She's a really smart baby, but we think that her speech is a little delayed. It may be and most likely is enviromentally related, as she's sharp as can be as far as understanding and imitating things. Everything we do, touch or see we are being very particular about saying the word to her and trying to get a response. She tries really hard but still has a way to go. Even our cats are "dogs" lol. Lynsey had some M&M's today and I took one and broke it into 4 small pieces and let her try it, she LOVED it and wanted more and more. So we tried getting her to say M&M, the most we could get was an "M", which was enough to earn her another one. I think she got 5 in total.
Later after we had come in from playing and I had sat down to the computer, she's running back and forth from me and Hubby. As she runs to me I say "Hola" (I've always tried to expose my kids to cultural and linguistic differences even though hubby and I are both caucasian English speakers) and she says back in a perfectly clear voice "Hola". Who'd have thought that this little blonde hair blue eyed baby could speak perfectly clear Spanish???? LOL~~~ I don't really think there was anything to it except it was an easy and fun word to repeat (the reason I was saying it to her).
Well, my vacation ends tonight, back to work for the first time since Tinker Bell arrived in the morning. If you didn't already know, I telecommute 4 days per week, so it will be interesting to see how she adjusts to me working and "Pop" taking care of her. Of course the kids still have a few weeks before school starts so they will be here as well. Lynsey was 25 months old when I first started working from home and she learned quickly that "mommy has to work" means relying on Pop to meet the needs and that she couldn't come running back into my work area even though I'm visible from the across the house. Tinker Bell is a little more stubborn and strong willed then my first and only previous baby girl, so we'll see how it goes this week.
Friday, August 20, 2010
No worse for wear
Besides the cat puke in the living room floor that none of my guys seemed to notice while we were gone, Tinker Bell was no worse for wear. She was clean, dry, had a nice full belly and had obviously been well taken care of by the guys. She also had become very fond of all of the guys giving hubby and the boys hugs. It may have been a good thing that us girls went away for a few days as it forced her to get to know the rest of the family.
Her vocabulary is expanding daily, and she learned "inside" while we were gone by going out on the front porch with hubby and he would ask her after a bit "do you want to go inside?". Now she slaps the front door and says "inside", wether she wants to go in or not, just to show us she knows what it means.
She was thrilled to see me and Lynsey return today, and extra stimulated by all the excitement from my Brownie Girl Scouts. They took her right under thier wings like any other younger sibling of the troop. After we got back and visited briefly, we all ate lunch together and then went for a swim.
I have to share a funny moment. It was hot and sunny today, so I got Tink's new sun hat that we had bought her earlier in the week. But before we came in to change into our bathing suits she took it off her head and threw it on the deck. No problem, I figured I'd pick it up on the way to the pool. One of my Brownie Girl Scouts had changed into her bathing suit and laid her clothes on the ottoman in our living room. After Tink had on her swim diaper and floatie bathing suit we are passing through the living room on our way out the back door to the pool, she apparently stops in just the blink of an eye....... the next thing I know, she's taken the girl's underwear and put them on her head, saying "hat, hat, hat". OMG!!! I almost died laughing, telling her "no, its not a hat", re-tucking the undies in her clothes and retrieving her sun hat from the deck as we pass through.
We spent about an hour swimming, while Tink discoved all of the pool noodles thinking that she should have possession of all of them and hollering at any girl who may happen to have one. She was ready for a nap shortly thereafter. It was a good day and hubby and the boys did a good job keeping her on schedule while we were gone so it was easy to jump right back in to the routine.
Right now I've got a 5 pound, 10 month old, Chihuahua/Maltese mix obviously feeling somewhat pushed aside whining at my feet, so I'm going to cut things short and give a puppy some lovin.................
Her vocabulary is expanding daily, and she learned "inside" while we were gone by going out on the front porch with hubby and he would ask her after a bit "do you want to go inside?". Now she slaps the front door and says "inside", wether she wants to go in or not, just to show us she knows what it means.
She was thrilled to see me and Lynsey return today, and extra stimulated by all the excitement from my Brownie Girl Scouts. They took her right under thier wings like any other younger sibling of the troop. After we got back and visited briefly, we all ate lunch together and then went for a swim.
I have to share a funny moment. It was hot and sunny today, so I got Tink's new sun hat that we had bought her earlier in the week. But before we came in to change into our bathing suits she took it off her head and threw it on the deck. No problem, I figured I'd pick it up on the way to the pool. One of my Brownie Girl Scouts had changed into her bathing suit and laid her clothes on the ottoman in our living room. After Tink had on her swim diaper and floatie bathing suit we are passing through the living room on our way out the back door to the pool, she apparently stops in just the blink of an eye....... the next thing I know, she's taken the girl's underwear and put them on her head, saying "hat, hat, hat". OMG!!! I almost died laughing, telling her "no, its not a hat", re-tucking the undies in her clothes and retrieving her sun hat from the deck as we pass through.
We spent about an hour swimming, while Tink discoved all of the pool noodles thinking that she should have possession of all of them and hollering at any girl who may happen to have one. She was ready for a nap shortly thereafter. It was a good day and hubby and the boys did a good job keeping her on schedule while we were gone so it was easy to jump right back in to the routine.
Right now I've got a 5 pound, 10 month old, Chihuahua/Maltese mix obviously feeling somewhat pushed aside whining at my feet, so I'm going to cut things short and give a puppy some lovin.................
Wednesday, August 18, 2010
Nekked Baby;-)
Got up early this morning to start getting ready for Girl Scout camp and Tinker Bell's case aid to come over. I was the first one up and went to check on Tinker, and what did I see??? Yeap, a naked baby, she had stripped off everything including her diaper, and was sleeping on her tummy with her little butt in the air. It was actually cute, but the bed wasn't wet yet, so I'm suspecting she had woken up for a little bit earlier and decided to get herself ready for the day, but that was as far as she could get on her own, lol. I went ahead and woke her up then before the bed did become wet.
We still haven't heard from her Caseworker or gotten a placement agreement, but her case aid (also called a Teaching Parent) called yesterday and asked to stop by just for a visit with her. She is the one that takes her to and supervisies the visits with her parents. The visit has been cancelled again for this week, but she wanted to make sure that she kept in touch with Tinker so that she will remember her and not be upset when eventually visits resume and she has to come pick her up, that was very thoughtful of her.
Of course nothing is ever carved in stone, but I asked her case aid today, if considering the current situation if its safe to assume she'll be here at least a few months and start purchasing her fall wardrobe when I take the kids back to school shopping next week, and she nodded an unequicocal "yes".
I've learned one more lesson from Tink, be sure to wait at least 1 hour after dinner before bathtime, unless you like fising out brown floaters from the bathtub and re-running the water;-)
Me and Lynsey are leaving for Girl Scout camp in about 2 hours. That will leave 1 man, 2 teens and a baby for 3 days and two nights. Of course I think grandma might stop by to lend a hand tomorrow, and I'll only be 10 miles up the road if I want or need to run home briefly. Luckily myself and both of my co-leaders will be there, and since we are only required to have two leaders for supervision ratio at any time, it will give us a little flexibility if any of us need to run home briefly.
I'll write more when we return.........................
We still haven't heard from her Caseworker or gotten a placement agreement, but her case aid (also called a Teaching Parent) called yesterday and asked to stop by just for a visit with her. She is the one that takes her to and supervisies the visits with her parents. The visit has been cancelled again for this week, but she wanted to make sure that she kept in touch with Tinker so that she will remember her and not be upset when eventually visits resume and she has to come pick her up, that was very thoughtful of her.
Of course nothing is ever carved in stone, but I asked her case aid today, if considering the current situation if its safe to assume she'll be here at least a few months and start purchasing her fall wardrobe when I take the kids back to school shopping next week, and she nodded an unequicocal "yes".
I've learned one more lesson from Tink, be sure to wait at least 1 hour after dinner before bathtime, unless you like fising out brown floaters from the bathtub and re-running the water;-)
Me and Lynsey are leaving for Girl Scout camp in about 2 hours. That will leave 1 man, 2 teens and a baby for 3 days and two nights. Of course I think grandma might stop by to lend a hand tomorrow, and I'll only be 10 miles up the road if I want or need to run home briefly. Luckily myself and both of my co-leaders will be there, and since we are only required to have two leaders for supervision ratio at any time, it will give us a little flexibility if any of us need to run home briefly.
I'll write more when we return.........................
Monday, August 16, 2010
Hmmm?????
So Monday is over and we didn't hear a word from Tinker Bell's caseworker today. She's supposed to be bringing the placement agreement for us to sign. On Wednesday she said she'd come Thursday, on Thursday she said she'd come Friday and on Friday she said she'd come Monday.......Its not really a big deal except we sat home all day today waiting for her to either call or come by. That and the fact that I like things to be in order. This child was simply transferred between foster parents with no official documents being signed. I kind of like to have the paper that shows she's where she's supposed to be. In our previous county we never went more than 24 hours without a placement agreement. But this is a small county, with just a few workers with huge case loads, so I could take the lack of attention as a vote of confidence in our ability to provide for her needs. But then there is the little voice inside of me thinking maybe something is brewing, maybe they decided that since her older sister doesn't seem to be coming into care at this time, maybe they will just move her back to her prior home. I know we have to be ready to let her go at a moments notice, but she is really fitting in quite well here and we'd like to enjoy a little more time with her. I have no reason to believe that any sort of change is imminent, but I guess I just need to get a feel for working with this new department so I know how they roll.
Here's a couple of pics:
Here's a couple of pics:
Sunday, August 15, 2010
Practice Run
On Wednesday I'll be taking my Girl Scout Brownie troop on their first real camping trip. Its been planned for months, of course I had no idea Tinker Bell would come to stay just a few days prior. So today I had a bunch of running around and shopping to do in preparation , so I left her with hubby for several hours to see how it would go. Luckily things went well and she is really adaptable. Of course all he had to do was feed her lunch and it was time for her nap, but I'm sure he'll do fine while we're gone, its not like he hasn't taken care of a toddler before. She seems to pick her favorite person of the day and wants to be with and by that person constantly, but if they leave she moves down the list in order, usually its Lynsey first, then me, Josh and either Cory or hubby come in last depending on her mood.
The newness of being a big sister is starting to wear off for Lynsey and she gave Tinker a few brush offs today, which has turned her attention towards me. So today she wanted to be with me and in my lap all day, in fact I stepped out on to the deck for just a few minutes today and she cried for me until I returned. Today was another quiet and normal day. We are expecting her Caseworker to stop by tomorrow with the placement agreement and maybe find out more information on the plan for her big sister. I sure hope nothing changes with that situation while we're camping.
The newness of being a big sister is starting to wear off for Lynsey and she gave Tinker a few brush offs today, which has turned her attention towards me. So today she wanted to be with me and in my lap all day, in fact I stepped out on to the deck for just a few minutes today and she cried for me until I returned. Today was another quiet and normal day. We are expecting her Caseworker to stop by tomorrow with the placement agreement and maybe find out more information on the plan for her big sister. I sure hope nothing changes with that situation while we're camping.
Saturday, August 14, 2010
Finding our groove again
Today is day 3 with Tinker Bell and as a family we are starting to find our groove with our latest addition. We basically took the day off from the outside world, went nowhere and had no visitors. We needed a down day as things will pick up again tomorrow. Theres a special feeling during the weekend being a foster parent. Its two days of the week that you can actually be almost 100% certain that caseworkers won't call or walk into your home at any moment and tell you the plans have changed for the child you are becoming attached to and they are moving them to live with a relative or some other change of plans (they don't work on weekends), so its a time that you can at least plan for tomorrow.
Tinker discoved the piano today, it was so cute, as she saw me using the foot pedal and playing the keys and tried to mimick the same thing, but by the time her foot was on the pedal, she's so tiny she had to reach with all her might to still hit the keys, so her head and her feet are under the piano keyboard with hands stretched above. She's also decided that she prefers to sleep in the pack-n-play rather than the toddler bed, that's what she was sleeping at in her first foster home, I think it makes her feel more secure. We'll let her do that for a little while and try re-introducing the toddler bed in a few weeks when she's feeling more at home.
Tinker discoved the piano today, it was so cute, as she saw me using the foot pedal and playing the keys and tried to mimick the same thing, but by the time her foot was on the pedal, she's so tiny she had to reach with all her might to still hit the keys, so her head and her feet are under the piano keyboard with hands stretched above. She's also decided that she prefers to sleep in the pack-n-play rather than the toddler bed, that's what she was sleeping at in her first foster home, I think it makes her feel more secure. We'll let her do that for a little while and try re-introducing the toddler bed in a few weeks when she's feeling more at home.
Friday, August 13, 2010
"Nynsey!!!!"
Yeap, that's Tinker Bell's favorite new word, nope its not a typo, just how she says Lynsey's name. It started last night, after I had posted here and headed off to bed. I knew it was too good to think that I could just climb into bed on her first night and drift off into dreamland. So I sat up for about half an hour flipping channels on the remote trying to be certain it was really safe to fall asleep. Just as I was drifting away, I heard the first cry. Its not so much of a cry she makes but more like a fuss, but I didn't want her to get all the way awake so I hurried in there, laid her back in her bed and began patting her back to try to get her back to sleep. Lynsey had woken up, so she decided to go get her sippy cup with water for her incase she was thirsty. That's when it happened, Lynsey opened the door and had hardly stepped out, when Tinker bolted straight up and screamed just as loud as her little voice would permit "NYNSEY!!!!" At that point she wanted nothing more to do with me, she wanted her Lynsey. I really need to earn this baby's trust quickly, right now playing big sister and little mommy is still fun for Lynsey, but its going to get old very quickly.
She had her one month follow up doctor's visit since being released from the hospital for liver failure. In that one month she gained nearly 2 lbs that's an entire 10% of her body weight. The doctor said she really looked good compared to a month ago, that is due in part, to the love and dedication of her first foster mom. They did lab work to re-check her liver enzymes and iron level (which was low as well last time). It was quite obvious that she had not forgotten her time in the hospital, she does not like doctors or lab technicians at all. The doctor managed to get a brief exam in, but it took Tinker sitting in my lap holding her and two lab technicians to draw her blood. She was not a happy camper. And there it was again "Nynsey! Nynsey!" with tears streaming down her face, pleading for her big foster sister to do something to rescue her from the madness, but all she could do was try to distract her with her teddy bear, which wasn't working. As soon as they were done though and everyone had released their grip on this powerful little girl, straight to Lynsey she went with arms up-reached.
Other than the doctor's appointment and stop at the lab, we had a pretty busy day, went out to lunch, did some shopping. She's really easy going and goes with the flow. For the past few weeks on Fridays she had been having visits with her parents. But DSS cancelled the visit this week, as mom and dad needed to pick up their game on following thier case plan. That often acts as a great motivator when a scheduled visit is withheld, but in this case mom and dad are now of unknown whereabouts. They were supposed to meet with their case workers and discuss the 2.5 year old being entrusted in care, but they didn't show, DSS can't find or locate them. But I know from past foster experience, they will show back up, with some incredible excuse and the law requires that things pick right back up where they left off in their case plan, while their children continue to grieve for them.
She had her one month follow up doctor's visit since being released from the hospital for liver failure. In that one month she gained nearly 2 lbs that's an entire 10% of her body weight. The doctor said she really looked good compared to a month ago, that is due in part, to the love and dedication of her first foster mom. They did lab work to re-check her liver enzymes and iron level (which was low as well last time). It was quite obvious that she had not forgotten her time in the hospital, she does not like doctors or lab technicians at all. The doctor managed to get a brief exam in, but it took Tinker sitting in my lap holding her and two lab technicians to draw her blood. She was not a happy camper. And there it was again "Nynsey! Nynsey!" with tears streaming down her face, pleading for her big foster sister to do something to rescue her from the madness, but all she could do was try to distract her with her teddy bear, which wasn't working. As soon as they were done though and everyone had released their grip on this powerful little girl, straight to Lynsey she went with arms up-reached.
Other than the doctor's appointment and stop at the lab, we had a pretty busy day, went out to lunch, did some shopping. She's really easy going and goes with the flow. For the past few weeks on Fridays she had been having visits with her parents. But DSS cancelled the visit this week, as mom and dad needed to pick up their game on following thier case plan. That often acts as a great motivator when a scheduled visit is withheld, but in this case mom and dad are now of unknown whereabouts. They were supposed to meet with their case workers and discuss the 2.5 year old being entrusted in care, but they didn't show, DSS can't find or locate them. But I know from past foster experience, they will show back up, with some incredible excuse and the law requires that things pick right back up where they left off in their case plan, while their children continue to grieve for them.
Thursday, August 12, 2010
~~~Tinker Bell arrives~~~
"Tinker Bell" arrived at our house today, being brought by her former foster mother who cared for her very much, but already had her hands full with several children (including an infant) and is hopeful that the two sisters will be able to be reunited in our home, something that was just not possible at her home.
Turns out she is not 18 months old, but rather already 19 months old and just a week shy of 20 months (I found this out from former foster mom). She's a petite little blond with sparkling blue eyes. She's only about as big as our daughter was at 8 or 9 months old. Former foster mom reports that her weight at her last doctors visit was 19 pounds and 6 ounces. She has a follow up visit in the morning so hopefully we'll see that she is starting to grow a bit.
Despite her small stature and recently being so ill, she is a bright and lively toddler. She doesn't say many words, but she understands everything you say to her and generally responds with "yea" or "nahhh". She did repeat two new words after us today the first was "Jesse" after meeting our Cocker Spaniel and the other was "Joshie" after meeting our 15 year old son. She seems to like J words.
The transition from her foster mother went very smoothly. After saying goodbye, she came to me willingly, and then back to former foster mom, back to me, back to foster mom. She wasn't upset or anything, she seemed to be making more of game of it then anything. Then my 8 year old daughter Lynsey came and stood beside us and Tinker reached for her so she took her. I asked Tink if she wanted a sandwich for lunch and she shakes her head excitedly, so Lynsey takes her to the kitchen giving former foster mom her opportunity to leave. We were dreading a melt-down when she left, but it never happened. She happily went on to eat her lunch, play with the cats and dogs, explore her new surroundings, meet the boys and become Lynsey's little shadow. Lynsey has been such a good little mommy today, I'm sure it will get old soon though.
After lunch, the boys went out to the shed and brought in all of the age appropriate toys we had boxed up years ago and I washed them up and set her up a play area in the living room to be able to keep an eye on her while playing and to allow Lynsey some quiet time without having Tink right on her heels in her bedroom constantly. It worked, she was thrilled with everything. She danced to singing Barney, "cooked" chicken in the toy oven. We tried a couple of times to get her down for a nap, but it just wasn't working today, so we decided being that everything was so new to her, we'd let her wear herself out today and try to get her on our schedule starting tomorrow. She has the greatest sense of humor, laughing at the appropriate times and trying to make others laugh as well.
Later in the evening a pretty nasty thunderstorm rolled through and we lost power for a few hours. So after it had cleared I took her out to the pool. She has obviously been swimming before. I had hardly gotten her life jacked on her and she was two steps down into the water, she loved it. After swimming she played on the swingset, while my guys went to pick up pizza since the power was still out. Before the pizzas arrived back home the power was restored. For being such a little thing, Tinker can surely eat. I was told that she will eat anything you place in front of her and she will. She ate a full piece of pizza with the works. She really enjoyed the black olives, picking each of them off before picking up each small piece that I had cut it into. It took her about 45 minutes to finish that piece of pizza, but she made it clear that she wasn't done yet, until the very last bite was gone, when she pushed her plate towards me.
The day went amazingly well, not a fuss, whine cry or anything until bath time....... She was obviously getting tired by this time and did not want anything to do with getting her hair washed. She cried the entire time she was in the bath, but settled down as soon as I took her out. We got the diaper and pajams on, hair and teeth brushed and I layed her in her new toddler bed. She had been sleeping in either a crib or a pack n play previously, so I wasn't sure how it was going to work out. She laid down and then began to fuss a little, I patted her back from one side of the bed while Lynsey rubbed her arm from the other. Within five minutes Tinker Bell had drifted off to Pixie Hollow land.
Turns out she is not 18 months old, but rather already 19 months old and just a week shy of 20 months (I found this out from former foster mom). She's a petite little blond with sparkling blue eyes. She's only about as big as our daughter was at 8 or 9 months old. Former foster mom reports that her weight at her last doctors visit was 19 pounds and 6 ounces. She has a follow up visit in the morning so hopefully we'll see that she is starting to grow a bit.
Despite her small stature and recently being so ill, she is a bright and lively toddler. She doesn't say many words, but she understands everything you say to her and generally responds with "yea" or "nahhh". She did repeat two new words after us today the first was "Jesse" after meeting our Cocker Spaniel and the other was "Joshie" after meeting our 15 year old son. She seems to like J words.
The transition from her foster mother went very smoothly. After saying goodbye, she came to me willingly, and then back to former foster mom, back to me, back to foster mom. She wasn't upset or anything, she seemed to be making more of game of it then anything. Then my 8 year old daughter Lynsey came and stood beside us and Tinker reached for her so she took her. I asked Tink if she wanted a sandwich for lunch and she shakes her head excitedly, so Lynsey takes her to the kitchen giving former foster mom her opportunity to leave. We were dreading a melt-down when she left, but it never happened. She happily went on to eat her lunch, play with the cats and dogs, explore her new surroundings, meet the boys and become Lynsey's little shadow. Lynsey has been such a good little mommy today, I'm sure it will get old soon though.
After lunch, the boys went out to the shed and brought in all of the age appropriate toys we had boxed up years ago and I washed them up and set her up a play area in the living room to be able to keep an eye on her while playing and to allow Lynsey some quiet time without having Tink right on her heels in her bedroom constantly. It worked, she was thrilled with everything. She danced to singing Barney, "cooked" chicken in the toy oven. We tried a couple of times to get her down for a nap, but it just wasn't working today, so we decided being that everything was so new to her, we'd let her wear herself out today and try to get her on our schedule starting tomorrow. She has the greatest sense of humor, laughing at the appropriate times and trying to make others laugh as well.
Later in the evening a pretty nasty thunderstorm rolled through and we lost power for a few hours. So after it had cleared I took her out to the pool. She has obviously been swimming before. I had hardly gotten her life jacked on her and she was two steps down into the water, she loved it. After swimming she played on the swingset, while my guys went to pick up pizza since the power was still out. Before the pizzas arrived back home the power was restored. For being such a little thing, Tinker can surely eat. I was told that she will eat anything you place in front of her and she will. She ate a full piece of pizza with the works. She really enjoyed the black olives, picking each of them off before picking up each small piece that I had cut it into. It took her about 45 minutes to finish that piece of pizza, but she made it clear that she wasn't done yet, until the very last bite was gone, when she pushed her plate towards me.
The day went amazingly well, not a fuss, whine cry or anything until bath time....... She was obviously getting tired by this time and did not want anything to do with getting her hair washed. She cried the entire time she was in the bath, but settled down as soon as I took her out. We got the diaper and pajams on, hair and teeth brushed and I layed her in her new toddler bed. She had been sleeping in either a crib or a pack n play previously, so I wasn't sure how it was going to work out. She laid down and then began to fuss a little, I patted her back from one side of the bed while Lynsey rubbed her arm from the other. Within five minutes Tinker Bell had drifted off to Pixie Hollow land.
Maybe I am nuts
I'm starting this blog after being inspired by an online friend who is journaling her adoption journey. I thought it was a great idea, as things that once seem so fresh fade into memories in the blink of an eye. Thanks Christie for the inspiration. I named it "foster ride", as it truly is a roller coaster ride being a foster parent, you have high highs and low lows and everything in between and never know what lies around the next corner. But like a roller coaster fanatic, we've boarded this ride once again and are excited about the journey ahead.
Due to confidentiality issues, I can not use any identifying information or post pictures that the children could be identified through, so they will be given nicknames and some details will be vague, I hope you understand.
"Your Nuts!" That's what my older sister posted on my Facebook when I announced that we had finally gotten the call for our first foster children since reactivating our license with the county we now live in. Oddly enough, it was the evening of our 25th wedding anniversary and where at one minute I was thinking about where I might like to go out to dinner, the next we were wondering how quickly we could toddler proof the house once again being as our youngest is now 8. It has been about 10 years since we've been licensed and had almost forgotten how crazy this ride can be, but it doesn't take long to be refreshed.
The call came in for 2 little girls, 18 months and 2.5 years, due to malnutrition and neglect. The 18 month old was in liver failure just 4 weeks ago. We were at first told it was due to the malnutrition, but her foster mother of the past month clarified that the liver failure was due to a tylenol overdose, apparently administered by her mother. I don't believe at this time there was intention to harm the child directly, but the medication was over used and most likely at the wrong doseage. There are other issues within the family that I will not be going into, as this is about the children, not about the parents. So the younger of the two was taken in to care about a month ago, immediately after being released from the hospital. She is expected to make a complete recovery but her liver enzymes need to be checked for the foreseeable future to be certain she continues to improve. The older girl was not taken into care by DSS at that time but rather placed with a friend of the family, as she was not severely injured as was the younger. However DSS is uncertain how long term the arrangement with the family friend will last. The friend stated earlier in the week that she was struggling with caring for her and would like DSS to find a home for her with her sister (that's when they called us) but after we had agreed to take them both, the "Friend of the Family" started wavering a bit and wanted to give it a little more time. If either the "Friend" decides she can no longer care for her, or the parents agree to sign a "Voluntary entrustment" then she will be coming to live with us in the near future. If neither of these happen its anybody's guess what might happen down the road. At this time the offical diagnosis on both the girls is "failure to thrive", but this is a very new case and its anyone's guess what may be discovered as things progress.
Due to confidentiality issues, I can not use any identifying information or post pictures that the children could be identified through, so they will be given nicknames and some details will be vague, I hope you understand.
"Your Nuts!" That's what my older sister posted on my Facebook when I announced that we had finally gotten the call for our first foster children since reactivating our license with the county we now live in. Oddly enough, it was the evening of our 25th wedding anniversary and where at one minute I was thinking about where I might like to go out to dinner, the next we were wondering how quickly we could toddler proof the house once again being as our youngest is now 8. It has been about 10 years since we've been licensed and had almost forgotten how crazy this ride can be, but it doesn't take long to be refreshed.
The call came in for 2 little girls, 18 months and 2.5 years, due to malnutrition and neglect. The 18 month old was in liver failure just 4 weeks ago. We were at first told it was due to the malnutrition, but her foster mother of the past month clarified that the liver failure was due to a tylenol overdose, apparently administered by her mother. I don't believe at this time there was intention to harm the child directly, but the medication was over used and most likely at the wrong doseage. There are other issues within the family that I will not be going into, as this is about the children, not about the parents. So the younger of the two was taken in to care about a month ago, immediately after being released from the hospital. She is expected to make a complete recovery but her liver enzymes need to be checked for the foreseeable future to be certain she continues to improve. The older girl was not taken into care by DSS at that time but rather placed with a friend of the family, as she was not severely injured as was the younger. However DSS is uncertain how long term the arrangement with the family friend will last. The friend stated earlier in the week that she was struggling with caring for her and would like DSS to find a home for her with her sister (that's when they called us) but after we had agreed to take them both, the "Friend of the Family" started wavering a bit and wanted to give it a little more time. If either the "Friend" decides she can no longer care for her, or the parents agree to sign a "Voluntary entrustment" then she will be coming to live with us in the near future. If neither of these happen its anybody's guess what might happen down the road. At this time the offical diagnosis on both the girls is "failure to thrive", but this is a very new case and its anyone's guess what may be discovered as things progress.
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