Nothing much happening

I haven't posted in a few weeks, as there hasn't been much happening.  Tinker Bell didn't have a visit last week because she was sick.  The Dr. diagnosed it as Pink eye, but I honestly think it was a wrong diagnosis.  We all ended up with a cold within days of her getting sick, and while her eye was red for a bit, it never progressed like conjuctivitis normally does, even with medicine.  But she apparently remembers her time in the hospital and totally freaked when the doctor came in the examination room, and honestly the only thing she (the doc) was able to see was the redness in her eye, she wasn't cooperating no how, no way.  I think it was one of those diagnosis where it was safer to err on the side of caution than not treat it and have her spread it.  She's fine now, with just a little nasal congestion left, that I've wondered might be some seasonal allergies, but I guess it will take a little time to figure that out. 

We really love this little girl, but man does she run us ragged.  She is not the type of child that is content to get involved with a single activity and follow through for a bit, I mean not even 5 minutes.  I spent an hour and a half today after I got off work just letting her walk our property and following close behind thinking she'd get tired at some point, but no, I was the one getting tired.  And a couple odd things I've noticed, she doesn't cry and get upset over things like most 20 month old babies do.  She goes full tilt, falls, bangs her head, eats a mouth full of dirt from falling, yet she doesn't respond like you would expect most toddlers to.  She doesn't like dirt on her and will come show you until you clean it off, but fall off the swing and eat a mouth full of dirt, no crying, not upset at all unless she can't get the dirt off of herself easily.  It's just odd behavior in my experience, I would expect just a little bit of crying or tears, but we get none.   My years of experience and knowlege with children tells me that this could be an early sign of ADHD, yet I don't want to mentally put a diagnosis on her while she is still so young.  So for now she is our Spirited Girl....

Nekked baby take 2!!!

Only this time it was in public!  More on that later.......

Friday was Tinker's first "Family" visit since coming to stay with us.  Family visit is one visit day of the month that the whole family is scheduled to be together, Tinker, her mom and dad and two siblings who both live with different family members.  Well, mom and dad didn't make it, one sibling was sick and didn't make it and the other did.  So she had a chance to play with her oldest sissy for a little while before coming back home.  Not sure what mom and dad's story was, I'm just glad that Tinker is not old enough to know when she is being stood up by her own parents.

She did good when she came home from her visit with sissy, none of the manic acting out that we saw on Monday after the visit with mom and dad.  She ate and took her nap and headed out with us after I got off work to take the other kids back to school shopping.

As we are driving to the mall, she decides to take her shoes and socks off, this bothers Lynsey a lot so she tries to put them back on her.  I finally told her to leave them off or else she would just be putting them back on a hundred times before we got there.  When we finally arrive I attempt the shoes and socks again, but she rips the first sock off before I can even get the shoe on.  So being the mom, I make the executive decision that she is going to go into the mall barefooted since she will be in the stroller the entire time and its better than risking her pulling off her new shoes and socks in the mall and we loose them without realizing it.

She did really good at the mall, as long as we were moving.  There were lots of things to look at and occasionally touch.  Then we got to the last stop, the shoe store.  The boys were picking out the shoes they wanted to try on, getting measured, waiting for the right size to come from the back and I guess Miss Tinker Bell got bored.  I look down in the stroller and she has somehow managed to get her jeans off despite being buckled into the stroller with a 3 point fastener (she must be made of rubber).  I unbuckle her, stand her up and try to get the jeans back on, she yanks them from me saying "uhuh"... Then she tries to climb out, has a fit because I won't let her out and won't cooperate at all with getting the jeans back on.  So I make executive decision number 2 (not a good one).  To heck with the jeans, this is the last stop at the mall, its warm inside and out, she's got a diaper on and covered and after all she's still a baby.  So I chuck the jeans in the basket under the stroller and we complete the shoe purchase.

By this time we are at the opposite end of the mall from where we came in at and have to walk all the way to where we are parked.  We're making good progress, when suddenly I noticed people looking at us strangely, people were chuckling, pointing, giggling.  I take inventory of what's around me trying to figure it out, when I realize they are looking at Tinker.  I stop the stroller and walk around front where I can get a better look............Yeap, you guessed it, she's done ripped the diaper off, is sitting there butt naked with her feet propped up on the stroller tray, waving to all the passerbys with her diaper in hand. 

I quickly grab the diaper and attempt to put it back on her, when I realize that she didn't just pull the tape loose (you can usually restick them) she tore the tabs off completely so there was no way to put it back on, plus we had accidently left the diaper bag in the van.  Think quick momma (as the ladies in the jewelry store we are standing in front of point and giggle).  "Somebody give me a bag" and Josh offers up his Aeropostale bag full of new t-shirts.  I set the bag in her lap, asked one of the boys to push the stroller so I could walk beside her and keep an eye on things.  The bag covered her well enough as long as she didn't try to move it, or empty Josh's new shirts on the ground and we made it back to the van in record time (still half lauging ourselves).  It takes a good kid to be a 15 year old boy, and willingly give up your new bag of clothes to cover a naked baby while you push her through the mall, hugs and thanks to my son Josh. 

When we got back to the van, it was a clean diaper, jeans, shoes and socks for that baby before taking them out to dinner.  With all the excitement of the day Tinker Bell slept good that night.

Visit with Mom & Dad

Tinker Bell had her first visit with her mom and dad today since coming to stay with us.  The Case aid said it was a good visit, but obviously Tinker is confused by the enitre situation.  Let's see, she lived with mom and dad, was in the hospital for a few weeks, went home with a stranger (first foster mom), lived with her for a month, moved to our house, hadn't seen mom and dad for almost 3 weeks, two hour visit today and then back to our house.  It's confusing to me and I understand the what's and why's of it all, I just can't imagine what is going through her little developing mind.

She fell asleep briefly on the way home from her visit, I would guess it was no more than a 10-15 minute nap at the most, but that was all it took, she wasn't having anything to do with a nap when she got home.  We tried, she tried but it just wasn't happening.  She's was literally throwing herself around in the playpen, not having a fit, but laughing hysterically and appearing to be having a good time.  I'm suspecting that it was some sort of coping mechanism and some way to deal with her emotions that she doesn't understand, as she had never done it before.  After about a half hour of that, I decided she had some pent up energy that needed to be released and gave up on the idea of getting her down for a nap today, so I let her out to play.  She was a little grumpy the rest of the day, probably partially due to missing her regular nap and partially due to what must have been a very difficult day having to say goodbye to mommy and daddy again after not seeing them at all for so long. 

I decided to feed her an early dinner rather than waiting for ours to be done, just incase she didn't make it awake that long.  That was a good call, she finished the last bite of her dinner and her eyes were closing as she was still chewing in the high chair.  I woke her up just enough to finish swallowing, get a quick cleanup and it was off to bed.  She slept sound for about an hour and a half, and then she woke up crying, I tried to comfort her but she didn't want anything to do with me.  Lynsey tried too and she pushed her away as well.  I'm quite certain she was dreaming about or reconcilling the days events as well as she could.  Its really sad when these foster kids rage out after visits, especially when they are not verbal enough that you can discuss how they are feeling and why they are feeling that way.  Its not that they don't want to see their parents, its usually quite the opposite, it doesn't matter if they have been abused or neglected, they still love their parents, its all they knew before foster care, they are angry and don't understand why they can't be with them.  Eventually Tinker took the singing Barney from Lynsey and drifted back to sleep. 

Hubby is going to have his hands full tomorrow, I have to go into the office and I bet she'll be up before sunrise going to bed as early as she did. 

Well, we finally got a placement agreement today, which really only means that she can get WIC now (all foster kids of the right age qualify, you just have to have the paper to prove they are fosters) and that we have something that officially states that we did not kidnap this little girl incase we have some nosey neighbors wondering where she came from. 

Tired......

I'm really tired tonight and feel worked over by that sweet little girl.  Let's see, she managed to empty the bottom shelf on the built in bookcase behind my desk, handing me each item one by one despite being told "no no, leave it alone".  So I started telling her what it was she was handing me, figuring it was better to put it on my desk than have her destroy it.  After a few minutes everything she hands me she says in her broken speech "Girl Scouts, Girl Scouts" as most of what she was handing me was Girl Scout supplies and paperwork.  She's a little booger, later the guys brought the mail in and laid it on the end table as usual and she snatched up the mortgage bill and ran from me laughing hysterically as I tried to get it from her before she tore it up.    I'll admit, I gave her a baby timeout for a few minutes when she moved to the second shelf trying to clear it, I put her in the pack-n-play for about 15 minutes and gave her a few toys in there to redirect her.  My desk is so over piled now I can't find a thing.  In fact I have a dues payment check from a Girl Scout parent that is buried somewhere here, I need to find that soon.....


I realized something today....... When my daughter now 8 was her age, she was a much more cautious child, being keenly aware of wether I approved of her actions or not.  We had this eye contact communication that just doesn't exist with a child that just came into your care at 19 months old.  I remember when she was that age, she was such an easy baby, before she did anything she'd look at me and read my face and know instinctively if she should proceed or not.  Obviously I can't expect this with a child I just met, but I wonder if she has or ever had it with her birth mother.  She looked at me a few times today like she was looking for that approval or scorning, and went about doing something that wasn't what I preferred, like smacking the puppy. Was she reading me???  Does she care if she pleases me???  Does she think the only way to get attention is to read me and then do the opposite???   Its all very interesting getting to know her and trying to figure her out as I'm sure she is doing with us.  But she is a sweet-heart despite it all and has a beautiful smile, is full of laughter and gives the best baby hugs..................

Two weeks today

Its been two weeks today since Tinker Bell moved in and she has really adjusted well.  This toddler craves routine and consistency and as long as you keep with that she is a happy camper.  She has two little "chores" that she likes to do each day.  First one is after she is done eating she likes to push her high chair back against the wall where it goes while I'm washing the tray, the second is every night when I get her dressed for bed she takes the clothes we've just taken off and puts then in the clothes hamper in the laundry room.  I made the mistake of giving her the clean clothes to carry this morning and before I knew it, she was headed to the laundry room to put them in the hamper.

We still don't have a placement agreement, but did finally talk to her caseworker this morning and from what I understand its all prepared on their end and will be coming with whoever next comes out to our house, probably the Teaching Parent since she will be picking Tinker up for a visit with her parents on Monday.  Yes, thankfully they showed back up and must be making some progress on their case in order to reinstitute the visits.  As much as we love this little booger already, we know its always best for everyone involved when a family can resolve their crisis and safely reunite and we are wishing them all the best. 

Honeymoon Over????

If its possible for a 19 month old to have a "honeymoon" period, it ended this weekend.  Tinker Bell is a very determined and strong willed little girl.  Its her way or the highway.  Where at first she would pretty much go along with things, she now has her own schedule and her own agenda.  She looks out the back window and sees the swing, she will have a fit until someone takes her out back to swing.  If she decides whe wants to go swimming, she will harrass you with her swim floatie until you take her swimming.  If she wants a snack, she will bang on the pantry door until you pull out exactly what she wants even if you have already given her a snack just a few minutes ago.

I'm glad she's feeling comfortable enough with us to share her opinion, but it will be nice when her vocabulary catches up with her intellectual development so she doesn't have to fuss to get her point across.  She's a really smart baby, but we think that her speech is a little delayed.  It may be and most likely is enviromentally related, as she's sharp as can be as far as understanding and imitating things.  Everything we do, touch or see we are being very particular about saying the word to her and trying to get a response.  She tries really hard but still has a way to go.  Even our cats are "dogs" lol.  Lynsey had some M&M's today and I took one and broke it into 4 small pieces and let her try it, she LOVED it and wanted more and more.  So we tried getting her to say M&M, the most we could get was an "M", which was enough to earn her another one.  I think she got 5 in total.

Later after we had come in from playing and I had sat down to the computer, she's running back and forth from me and Hubby.  As she runs to me I say "Hola" (I've always tried to expose my kids to cultural and linguistic differences even though hubby and I are both caucasian English speakers) and she says back in a perfectly clear voice "Hola".  Who'd have thought that this little blonde hair blue eyed baby could speak perfectly clear Spanish????  LOL~~~  I don't really think there was anything to it except it was an easy and fun word to repeat (the reason I was saying it to her). 

Well, my vacation ends tonight, back to work for the first time since Tinker Bell arrived in the morning.  If you didn't already know, I telecommute 4 days per week, so it will be interesting to see how she adjusts to me working and "Pop" taking care of her.  Of course the kids still have a few weeks before school starts so they will be here as well.   Lynsey was 25 months old when I first started working from home and she learned quickly that "mommy has to work" means relying on Pop to meet the needs and that she couldn't come running back into my work area even though I'm visible from the across the house.    Tinker Bell is a little more stubborn and strong willed then my first and only previous baby girl, so we'll see how it goes this week.

 

No worse for wear

Besides the cat puke in the living room floor that none of my guys seemed to notice while we were gone, Tinker Bell was no worse for wear.  She was clean, dry, had a nice full belly and had obviously been well taken care of by the guys.  She also had become very fond of all of the guys giving hubby and the boys hugs.  It may have been a good thing that us girls went away for a few days as it forced her to get to know the rest of the family. 

Her vocabulary is expanding daily, and she learned "inside" while we were gone by going out on the front porch with hubby and he would ask her after a bit "do you want to go inside?".  Now she slaps the front door and says "inside", wether she wants to go in or not, just to show us she knows what it means.

She was thrilled to see me and Lynsey return today, and extra stimulated by all the excitement from my Brownie Girl Scouts.  They took her right under thier wings like any other younger sibling of the troop.    After we got back and visited briefly, we all ate lunch together and then went for a swim. 

I have to share a funny moment.  It was hot and sunny today, so I got Tink's new sun hat that we had bought her earlier in the week.  But before we came in to change into our bathing suits she took it off her head and threw it on the deck.  No problem, I figured I'd pick it up on the way to the pool.  One of my Brownie Girl Scouts had changed into her bathing suit and laid her clothes on the ottoman in our living room.  After Tink had on her swim diaper and floatie bathing suit we are passing through the living room on our way out the back door to the pool, she apparently stops in just the blink of an eye....... the next thing I know, she's taken the girl's underwear and put them on her head, saying "hat, hat, hat".  OMG!!!  I almost died laughing, telling her "no, its not a hat", re-tucking the undies in her clothes and retrieving her sun hat from the deck as we pass through. 

We spent about an hour swimming, while Tink discoved all of the pool noodles thinking that she should have possession of all of them and hollering at any girl who may happen to have one.  She was ready for a nap shortly thereafter.  It was a good day and hubby and the boys did a good job keeping her on schedule while we were gone so it was easy to jump right back in to the routine. 

Right now I've got a 5 pound, 10 month old, Chihuahua/Maltese mix obviously feeling somewhat pushed aside whining at my feet, so I'm going to cut things short and give a puppy some lovin.................